alone

I see her sitting across church. She has tears streaming down her old, wrinkled face. Remembering the past. We are singing 'Amazing Grace'. That was his favorite song. Also the song we sang at his funeral.

My grandma is all alone. The love of her life is gone. Even though it was many years ago, it feels like yesterday that they were raising their 3 beautiful children. Brad has is eyes and nose, Linda has his sturdy chin, Cindy has his big, rough hands. They all have his stubborness and willingness to work. She sees him in all her children and even her grandchildren.

They met when she came up from Oklahoma to visit her sister in Minnesota. They met at the same church that she attends now. They instantly had a connection and decided to marry within 10 days of knowing each other. In about 11 months, they wed and then on the next few years, they ended up having 3 children. One is my father. They were married for 48 beautiful, happy years. Even when they bickered, it was still in love. And partly from his stubbornness.

But now my grandpa is gone. I still feel pain of his passing even though it was 7 years ago. But I can't even comprehend what my grandma is going through. Imagine your other half, the person you yourself would die for. She probably wishes she could take his place just to ease the pain of him not being there watching his granchildren grow up. But she knows she will be with him in heaven and they will be together, at last. Grandpa David singing in the choir, not having Alzheimer's and remembering her, Grandma Carol manically cleaning everything untill even the dust shines. (is there dust in heaven?) Declaring there is someone important about to arrive.

I love my grandma so much. I can still see the pain in her eyes everyday. I almost start crying myself.

As the song comes close to finish, her eyes finally come back to reality. In those precious two minutes of that song, she was spending time with her one true love, David. Hoping she will see him soon.

"Through many dangers, toils and snaresI have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus farand Grace will lead me home.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun."