Wishing, Waiting, Wanting

Wishing. I wish i was over there. Looking into his eyes, marveling at their beauty. Watching them twinkle in the lights and seeing the mischief and gloriousness hidden in the depths of his irises. I see more than beauty in his eyes though. I can see me in his past, present, and future. Or at least i hope i do. Incessant, never ending hope. Thats how i function. Or try to. I see of what we can be and willing it to be true.

Waiting. I have been waiting forever for something to happen. Some fictional spontaneous combustion. I grow bitter with the waiting. When? Just tell me when! Or even if. But as i realize that maybe it cant be, i just grow more and more thoughtful to how i can get him. Telling him how i really feel. What if he thinks im a freak? Some obsessed crazed girl that is uncontrollable? I will do anything for you. Anything. Just tell me something. Something!

Wanting. Truly, uncontrollable, irresistable wanting. I've wanted this for a while now. I just see him and his life going on over there as if i dont even exist. Oh wait...i dont exactly exist in his world. Maybe just a sliver from the past, but its unrecognized and forgettable. I sigh with distain. Giving up hope, but holding on to the fraction that i have of him. He has all of me now, even though he doesnt know it. He holds me in the palm of his hand, but he clenches his fist. I am there in the corner of his mind where all the useless information goes. wanting to be his every thought, his every action. But wanting is a constant emotion. Endlessly wanting.

Wishing, Waiting, Wanting, yours for the taking.