there is a missing piece in my life. Part of me feels empty. (like my wallet) like something should be there, but i am just pushing it aside and spending it when i think i need it.
Its not exactly a person I'm missing, its part of me i guess you could say.
One minute i am passionate about it and the next i forget it like i forget my brother's birthday. Not exactly good, i would say. I feel so guilty forgetting about it, i try to make up for it, but its something you cant exactly make up..
That thing is Jesus. Yes, I am an avid Christian. But I feel like I'm the only one like this. Always, constantly forgetting that I need Him. It's so hard, with judgemental people and wanting to fit in while you have this part of you too. Such a hard thing to do. I mean I juggle fitting in with different kinds of school people, sports people, and church people. I try so hard at the other two, I completely forget about Jesus and everything that goes along with Him. When I am with Christians who are passionate people for Christ I get jealous. They can be themselves while fitting in so good with other people. I dont know how they do it! It's such a mystery to me.When i am totally focused and into church and the whole nine yards, then I am totally myself! Completely relaxed and loving life.
I sort of covered two topics that i have been thinking and going through lately. It seems like I'm not using this to write about beautiful things like i feel i should be, but ongoing controversies in my life...I promise, next blog I write will be about something totally and completely AWESOME! and you wont fall asleep on your keys reading this. Adios!!
I'm a total mess. Missing pieces of myself and trying so hard to be someone other than myself.
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