overpowering mindlessness

Mindless flirting, careless laughing. He touches my arm with the gentlest of touches and my heart starts thumping and it seems like the whole world can hear it. Blood rushes to my face and in the hope that he wont see, I hide my face. He looks back at me and his crooked grin literally takes my breath away. All I can do to stop from reaching and hugging him or some other irrational longing is just to smile back.

I catch myself thinking about him constantly. Always thinking," What would he think of that?" And also chronically wishing I was near him. Thinking I own him in some mental and physical way. That maybe I hold a space in his mind as he holds endless oceans in my mind.

Daydreams. Thats how I get through the day. Just imagining what will happen next. Its like a romance novel, but I'm not as lucky. I look across the room and see him with some other girl what he was doing with me. A sense of burning takes away my happy daydreams. I burn with longingness, intensity of jealousy, and just a burning to be near him and knock the lights out of every other girl in the universe.

Overpowering. Quickly taking a hold on my heart. He does that, you know. Just quickly snatches you into his powerful grip and never lets go. It's like he is holding me by some greater power, but my attempts to get away are forgotten and I get lost in an ocean of him. I lose all will to get away now. Its too late. A part of me is wanting to get away while I can, but the longing sense of urgency overpowers it. I cant get away. He keeps me in the folds of his smile, never letting go.