Okay, I'm not ready. It's as simple as that. I read the books, see whats happening on TV and even hear about it from my older friends and relatives, but somehow that is not going to prepare me for what's out.....there.
It's sooooo much more than what high school is trying to prepare you for. I mean I guess it can prepare you maybe for a small fraction of things you have to worry about like maybe reputaion, your work and getting it in on time, but really I will never know about what is out there until I experience and I don't know if I want to.
There is really a seperate world from school and I guess you could say real life. Real life is harsh, cruel, and sometimes just brings you down to your humble knees. But then again, its b-e-a-uuuuuutiful!! Such opposite things that you need to have character and moral. I can't just ignore the horrible part of life! I'm trying to focus on the pretty meadow of life that I can skip through while picking daisies. But really I have to go through the dark, scary, murky forest to get there. Ummm...I think picking flowers sounds good for my whole life. But I want things in the future that sound really hard to get. I want to be an orthopedic surgeon! I mean thaats A LOT of schooling and hard work. And like I said before...I'm so not ready. I'm not even ready for an upcoming test I have on Monday...eek.
I always get college packets and brochures in the mail..I think to myself, why are they sending me this when I am just a sophomore and have no idea what I'm even going to wear tomorrow?!?! I just wanna go to my mom and say," Hey this is a hard decision, can you make it for me please? Then can you bring me some ice-cream? Thanks!" But its soooo not like that. I have to go through the gruelling thoughts of the pros and cons and who will this make mad at me and what will happen if I do this? So hard.
But that is pretty much what everyone else is going through right? I'm not the only one and I dont have to go through this alone either. Thank goodness for friends.
I'm sort of spinning around in circles with this blog but its just been whats on my mind lately. A never ending thread of worrying about the future.
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excellent work buddy! i especially like the part about you skipping throught a meadow of daisies...ha ha!
ReplyDeleteha thanks colleen! i always like that metaphor :) im going to comment on your blog about the church and boiling pots of crap:)
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